Holmes and Watson

Was jus thinking, of nuffin, of everyfin, and how much she has come to mean in my life. We never talked about it, we didnt discuss it, and yet, somehow, i dunno how, she filled up so many of the missing pieces in my soul. She found me, though she didnt know that back then, a lonely wreck. She never talked about it, we never talked about it, she made me Scio. Days passed, months passed, years passed, i dunno how, she became my companion. And slowly all those darknesses, shadows, monsters under the bed and behind the wall, we never talked about them, she never knew about them till that night we spoke, they crept away, slowly receding. Nowadays they reappear only as sharp, momentary pangs after a fleeting, i dunno why am doing this, flirtation with some unknown person i dont care about, in the bried realization that i am giving them pleasure, they are giving me pleasure, but there is no happiness here, just a mild amusing friendship. I dont even desire those i flirt with. Who do i desire? Honestly, i dunno. Confused, maybe. Dunno. Flirting's fun, as long as you know it's jus about friendship. Love? Does it exist? Who knows? I certainly don't. I jus know i like her. And yes, in my own weird way, I love her. Never thought i would say this bout anybody. It's weird, and the feeling, when i admit it, leaves me shaken. But i love her, and its exhilarating.

Like suddenly someone has messed about with a heap of red and brown leaves that had been carefully collected, and now, are flying once more in the air.

i dont expect stuff from her. And that also makes things great fun. It's always new with us. And it's awesome when suddenly, in a precious moment of soppy heart-to-heart talk, we don't generally do that sort of thing, its awefully hard, she suddenly admits she likes me back. Dunno what happiness is really. The sort of thing you read in books, dunno bout that, never had that kind of unalloyed joy and all that. i dunno what happiness is, mayb i'll never have it, mayb its not meant for people like me. But i like it when she leans on me, and i lean on her, it sure feels like what you read about it in the books, and all that sort of crap.

Hell, am talking too much, and talking's not our style of dealing with things, not mine at any rate. But i think i owe her an explanation bout what i meant when i sent her that sms in the middle of the night. Talking so much leaves me drained, and a little doubtful, luck is not meant for people like me, mayb she'll leave me one day. Hell, who cares? I love her, that should be enough for now. And everyone agrees we are a great pair, better than Laurel and Hardy, better than Holmes and Watson, better than Superman and Lex Luthor. God willing, we'll be a legend someday.


image captions: dont analyse it to death, watson
huh! easy for you to say, holmes, its not you who will havta put this all in words