FAREWELL

My bags are packed …
I took everything I could
But some things are left behind.
I couldn’t bear the load
Some memories are scattered here and there
Few words of love
Some abuses you hurled at me
Uncomfortable silences

I couldn’t take away my tears
They fell off my eyes
Like orphaned raindrops
And you didn’t wipe them dry
U were looking away….
So I have left them behind
Don’t worry they wont stain your floors.

I think I lost my smile somewhere too
Looked around everywhere
Rummaged through all our dusty rooms
I couldn’t remember where I had kept it away
I guess you had snatched it some time ago.
Maybe it’s still there with you.
I don’t think you will treasure it
So let it free sometime

Oh yes I also left my dreams behind
And some unfulfilled wishes too
But of course I couldn’t carry my expectations with me.
And my desires just refused to contain themselves inside my bag.
So I threw them all away
Out of the window of our room
I saw them falling like feathers
Slowly being swayed by the breeze
I guess they wanted to be rescued
To be saved and secured…
But I let them go
You never cared for them anyways
And what would they do when I’m gone?
I saw them lying broken on the streets
Weeping silently, they were crushed by footsteps
I saw it all
I felt like a murderer
But you had murdered them many times before.


Another thing was too heavy for my bag
Lots of unanswered questions
That kept darting across my mind.
Why didn’t you care enough?
How was I a sadist?? When I got all the hurt???
How was I the cheapest?? When all I asked was love??
Why did you break all those promises that I gave my all to keep???
So a bag full of questions I locked inside a cupboard.
They kept shouting for answers
Maybe someday you will find their answers
Now all your time is yours, so just spare some for them….

And finally there something else I just couldn’t take with me …
I placed some below your pillows...
I left some on my side of our bed...
I sprayed some like perfume all over our home.
Maybe you will hear them at night like a melancholy lullaby
Maybe you will listen to them when you miss my voice
Maybe you will feel them in your silences
Unsaid words I’m leaving behind
I know they’ll reach you when I’m gone
Unsaid words….
That I love u
That you will be missed
When you are tired of your noisy music
All I ask is just try listening to them…..
Unsaid words
Like a story never told…
Like a song never sung…

Well then, its time to go…
The bag is ready, waiting by the door…
I’m leaving…letting you go…
I’m walking really slowly…
Quietly, towards the door…
I know you won’t call my name …
I know you won’t hold me back…
I want to run back and hug you tight
For one last time ….


But you were already enjoying your music
So I slipped away unnoticed
Like a flimsy musical note….

by zaid al baset
© 2007 by Zaid