Don't wait for me tonight

Non non non
Je ne vais pas danser cette nuit-la.
You asked me not to fall in love with you,
You asked me not to be impolite,
You said you are incorruptible.
I am not going to ask you anymore
I am not going to break my heart.
So no no no
I am not going to dance tonight with you
So what if my heart thinks of you?
There are others who are calling me to their
Mehfil and mushairaa.
So no no no
Don’t wait for me tonight
You are just boring me…
I waited for you all night
But tonight…I have waited much too long
Waited for you to say just a word
You never came.
So non non non
I will not wait for you tonight.

~~scio amo

On a summer's evening

On a lovely summer’s evening
With applewine on a rooftop terrace
With the clear evening air bringing the scent
Of forgotten melancholies
And desires that will never be suppressed
Cutting the scallops one by one, salting them in
The pickled mélange of hope and lust
Tell me, looking into my eyes,
You did not once wish that the chair beside you
Empty—or where a stranger sat
You did not wish it was me:
For in every dark head, every mop of unruly brown,
I have often suddenly jerked my head away
To peer at my behind
And wish if it was you…prying on me
Stealing my heart when I wasn’t looking

~~scio amo

Let's make hate

Let every sun shine in its own sky, Let every star have its own voyager to guide,
I care for no light but your words…they are enough for me
I need no other God.
There is no god but God.

It has not been easy with you. I thought I would break up with you, but you did not let me. why? I have no answer. When I was in the ballroom tonight pressed against the wall, smiling at everyone, looking at none, I do not know why I thought of you, I wanted to bruise you, I just wanted to press you against the wall where I myself stood. Belonging to everyone, belonging to none.

Let every sun shine in its own sky, Let every star have its own voyager to guide,
I care for no light but your words…they are enough for me
I need no other God.
There is no god but God.

In the morning, I wanted to vomit, I leant against the sink, then steadied myself. I want to hurt all of your friends, everyone you smile at, everyone you think of, I want to be the only one you care for. Scared? Yes, I am a monster. A wolf. Run while you can. For something tells me you are falling for me. Leave me while you can. Make a clean break, run a knife through, I will lick it. I will caress the blade.

I want to hurt you. I want to make you cry. You have marked me forever. You have spoilt me for everyone. I will have you. I will you make you long for me. I will not care what you feel for me. Even the love you once confessed, I will not give back.

There is no god but God.

You want a war? You want to fight as though we were two teenagers in a street brawl? Our cuffs folded back, brown skin to brown skin, I will press against the wall. I will make you bleed, I will run my hands through your hair till you moan my name. then I will punch you in your stomach press against you with all my arrogant pride…not sans pride this time..i will make you forget the name of everyone you have spoken to…I will make you forget everyone you have ever laughed with…and with one mad plunge…one kick on your stomach, I shall throw you down to the ground, and make blood run down your thighs.

I will mark you as mine own. I will spoil you for everyone.

God help you.

~~scio amo.

Diary of an Emotional Fool

Corps or coeur?…..all day long the two words played duel in my shadow,
In one moment the Coeur won the battle of the sword,
In the next, it was my lost soul bedaubed with bodily heat;
Fire, a burning sensation, tantalizing and titillating filled up my wild vivarium..
I was burnt, I was hurt, I was loved…by the fire.
Fire, my lust enticed me dearly or should I call it the unconventional way?
And all I wanted was everything unconventional, wasn’t it?
I relished the thought of eating rowdily all things weird…
At last appeared the plate decorated with all items irregular …
You asked me what was making me eschew the plate…
Nothing…I said…just allowing my eyes to play voyeur…
What a plate! What a plate!....a plate of wild memories, wild moments,
Wild passion and…and a little bit of emotion!

Emotion!...you laughed at the word…you called me an emotional fool,
Right you were, a baby, a parasite still dwells in my den…
For aeons I had tried to cut its umbilical cord from my heart, only in vain.

And now I ask u, my other alter ego…the juggler of words,
The conjurer equipped with grey matter, the captain of my vague being,
I seek your opinion, can emotion be aborted when passion is in bed?
And you negate, you disagree,
Might be you were a Church devotee

In your previous naissance…
Otherwise why would the imagery of 'abortion’ make an atheist like you shudder?
My intellectual alter ego, you reply, passion germinates emotion…
Elated, my eyes are blinded by the light of optimism, momentarily,
And again I sink in the nadir of my usual dark self…..
I laugh silently at my moments…..they always remain ‘Gaston’
The menacing child-man….I could never chide them or tame them…
Let them remain the truant boy, I love them for what they are, don’t I?

-The Shepherdess

I just broke up today.

I just broke up today.
Nothing great. We didn’t even speak much.
But it seems it won’t work out.
I’ll be fine. Just alright.

I don’t feel anything today. Funny, coz I thought it would be bad.
A sparrow flew into my room today, at dawn.
I had kept the window open to catch the morning air, it’s the only pleasant time in the day.
It was alone, must have lost its way. It flew around the room for sometime…
Or maybe it was a bat, I didn’t see it clearly, I was too afraid and covered myself up inside a blanket.
Then it cut itself in the blades of the fan, and fell down dead.

Drama queen that I am, I went squealing to my parents’ room and fell on them.
Mom said later, I was shivering all the time.

Funny, but I still don’t feel anything.

I console myself that it was the bird’s karma, I always can console myself.
I always have a reason.
If it were a good bird (or bat) maybe it will be reborn soon as a handsome prince or a beautiful girl.

Then I went over the letter. I didn’t cry. For sometime I thought that I would double up in clichéd pain, bury my face inside my knees, and just never come out, I wanted to drive an iron stake up myself, or drive myself into a hot tight ring of fire.

Obviously, I did nothing so dramatic.

I really don’t feel anything, there’s nothing wrong.

In the morning, when I was screaming, squealing like a baby, dad had cleared up the mess in my room. But there were still two splotches of blood on the wall. Just near my bed. The person who works at our house, I asked him to clean it up, I left the room, when I came back, the marks were gone.

I don’t want to study today, will spend my evening reading some religious poems, and chatting with friends.

Soon the nor’wester will come, and it will start raining, but I have vowed I will not open the window, even though I like to stare at the streetlights outside, especially when it has started to rain. And it seems as if the lights themselves are turning to hazy streams.

Opening windows at odd times just causes too much trouble.

O…and tomorrow’s my birthday. So I’ll have fun. A lot of fun. Maybe even find someone. I always do. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’ll trail the roses over our railing, and wait. Hope they look good.

~~scio amo

Santa Maria della Salute

You are the only reason I want to wake up
You are the only reason I can smile
When a thousand knives and a thousand eyes are piercing me
You are the only reason I can go on

Santa Maria della Salute
As we light candles before your altar
Remember us in your prayers
And give us a gondola
Where I can hold my beloved in my arms
And when the nape of my neck is kissed
I shall thank you in my prayers

There’s too much I have to do, too many hopes I must bear
There’s too much I must not do, too many fears that make me shudder
Be with me, you are the only one I can cry to
Be myself, ( with just a showy flair )
For you like me (someday…love me ) just so

Santa Maria della Salute
Help me, help us, o Queen of Heaven
Surrounded by your crown of stars
We shall go out on that gondola
To foreign marts, and buy for you the best lavender
Spices and booties worth a pirate’s daughter
And we will light candles before your altar
Two, with one flame
And then a thousand
Grant me my love

And with the flame of every candle
As it soars towards your smoke-stained icon
Where you hold your child, Our Saviour, in the nook of your arms
Never letting him go away
How did you feel when they killed him?
How did you cry when they took him away?
Grant us, Lady, as your son was resurrected
So may our love rise with every moment
Let it soar like this flame we light before you
If it threatens to wane, let it rise to life again

For I love my beloved more than I want to
Only for love I want to wake up every day

~scio amo

Its halfway through the nite...
i woke up with a fright..
i recall a vague nitemare...
n i miss u allright...

come to me
be with me
lets share this lonely night...
its so cold
its so quiet...

times seems to have stopped
n yet it passes by....
n i miss u alright...

stay with me..
be next to me
hold me tight..
coz the nite is lonely...
oh please just tonite!!!

just knowing u are far away.. makes me want to cry..
seems i havent seen u in a long long time...
yet all i see n hear is u...
why.. just why tonite?
i close my eyes switch off the lights...
n oh i miss u alright...


inside my room
the wall clock ticks...
outside the window lies an empty street..
why dont i hear your footsteps come?
just the thought u mite.. excites!!
oh please run n come for me tonite...
cz i miss u...
n its hurts allright..


give me warmth
make love to me
touch me
stay close allnite....
i cant sleep
u dont come...
i shall weep
there are tears in my eyes
the pain runs deep...
i look at the mirror
its an imcomplete sight...
oh just dont make me wait tonite...
cz i miss u crazy allnight

by zaid al baset

VALEDICTION

Caught among the cacaphony of birds,
And the web of dusty leaves
are the soft rays of the setting sun..
A valediction
The end of the day
A journey
From life to death...
Peaceful graves
Like the placid breaths
of a child fast asleep
Ignorant,unaware,

Some Silent prayers
Some unsaid words
Some irreedemable loss

An unknown fate
Yet so known
An old secret
which everyone knows

A family of four
gather around
their loved ones

Some silent tears
Some fragrant flowers
Some old memories...

Two friends
Sit on a decrepit bench

Some broken talks...
Some scattered thoughts...
Some strange feelings...

A twisted path lined by pointed stones
traverses its way along lonely tombs..
A doleful epitaph
written for a beloved
carved ornately
at the entrance of her last home....

Some last moments
Some lost words...
A farewell.


by zaid al baset

Easter Song...or, Cant you dance with me?

You live in one part of the world
And I in another
And maybe we will never meet…

As I was bathing today and the warm water gushed over my cold skin
Feeling into the pores, places I never knew you could fill
There’s something telling me (maybe it’s just a delusion)
There’s someone telling me (maybe it’s just an illusion)
That everything’s gonna be just fine

You live in one part of the world
And I in another
And maybe we will never meet…

Maybe you are just an excuse, an outlet to pour all the love
I never knew existed in me
Maybe you don’t matter (but I think of you all the time)
Maybe you are just an excuse (…and I am not exaggerating)
A friendly ghost I needed, a cheshire smile
To make me a better person


You live in one part of the world
And I in another
But when my knees are pressed against the wall
Why do I feel you behind me?
Holding my waist
Nuzzling the back of my ear, as though I were a truant boy
In a school that never got over
As one period stretched after another
(A friend told me I never grew up)
I wanna feel you inside me
It doesn’t matter where you are

Tonight when I start dancing
If it’s true you live in another part of the world
(And maybe we will never meet…)
Then why tonight when I start dancing
I feel, in some part of the world
(Somewhere I may never go)
Throbbing against a window where the snowflakes have just begun to fall
You too are pressed against the wall
Your button nose staring outside
And then you too, moved by the air,
Your slender waist starts dancing
And though you don’t want to love me
What makes me think you can’t resist?

Fall for me
It’s the best thing that will ever happen to you

Maybe you are just an excuse
I needed to be a better person
But you really make me want to be a better person
For you

So just let go tonight
Just fall for me
Trust me, (hold my waist)
It’s the best thing (twirl your toes around mine)
(Am just a gawky boy, asking you for a dance
It doesn’t need to mean anything more)
It’s the best thing
( Fall for me)
It’s the best thing that will ever happen to you.

~scio amo, il lupo

Kink talk in roman parks...lol

some things jus need no explanation...like when u wanna tie someone up with a silk handkerchief n pin them down against a wall n spread cream all over....oops

dio mio...my imagination is again wondering...:-(

anyways...if there was ever a kinky guy this one takes the cake...i'll post our conversation (without his permission, silly...lol) ..let passion do the rest of the talking...:-I

scio amo: theres a new post in the log...do leave ur comments if u care...:-p

Shiladitya: u think i care? im utter careless....and my careless whispers always wanna caress u!

ooo...ooo...oooooo.....woof woof..ice someone..i need to loosen my tie..:-I


scio amo: since u seem to prefer writing n deleting scraps...:-(...


Shiladitya: i prefer deleting accounts too at times..

scio amo: lol

Shiladitya: marvellous dude....its ur kind....almost a work of art....lemme probe deeper someday...currently im on a high..but this is indeed ur style...allusion to History, emotions , time and space...makes one wanna stare in daze..[after reading the last post...yipeeeeeeeeh]

probe deeper?...what it means?,.,..seems so....ah

scio amo: if i were a reed i would shake and faint...lol...[seriously i would..if someone probed me uknowwhere...:-I...goddddd..it must be painful..:-(]


scio amo: stare in daze at me...i dont mind...no not at all...lolol
[ya only stare..nuffin else please or i might melt..:-D]

scio amo: on a high?..can i be the reason?...lolol

scio amo: lol..thanks re..u made my day..:-)

Shiladitya: i wanna stare and rape the child in u

ahem...i fear being jackripped suddenly..must watch my step..:-p

scio amo: lololololol...u never can...lol ...[throw a dare...all men fall for it...lol...trust me]

Shiladitya: im the rapist...forgot me...but im crippled coz i raped myself...please bring my candle stick...ghost of dirty dick still searches for his little knell....and in wee wee hours wen u pass by charlotte street please bring mah walking stick...coz i can barely walk in ur park tonite..

[oh...he deflowered hinmself...how quaint!...must hav fallen on his own rod...:-D...or maybe he flogs himself or put stilletoes into his..,mon dieu..i reallymust bridle my imagination...]



scio amo: u cant walk in the parks of rome?...lolol...u fear u will lose control?

Shiladitya: i dnt lose control....i use control..

scio amo: if u stay with me u r bound to lose ur control...lol

control lose control..a..a.a.aaaaaaa...wanna pull the gears?..:-P

is it me?..or is jus getting hot in here?...lol

meanwhile swastika develops her own [unrequited] crush on shilo

blue_tears_of_a_violet: shilo take dorkar...[roughly translates as....she need shilo very much]

nuffin like a love triangle to spicen up this easter

yipeeeeeeeeh....i'll be the bunny,...yum yum...spread chocolate sauce all over me...then...

Rome and a boy

Imagine a young boy with a too vivid and wild imagination...imagine him in an environment he could not always adjust to...attacked by many for no fault of his own
Imagine him unable to adjust to what he thought was wrong...and so he was harassed
Imagine that he saw himself as specially chosen by providence...and suffering injustices
Imagine that he built walls around himself...identifying with another city that once was under siege
A city built in hearts...that one of her sons called the city of God... a city of martyrs...and yet in that blood to bloom crowns more imperial than worn by Caesar
Imagine that he was no plaster saint...but fought back as good as he got...seeing himself anointed...Imagine that he was as great a warrior and greater than those that persecuted him
Imagine a city built on blood...on amphitheatres where lions tore apart those who would not confess to the lies of the majority
Imagine in her colosseums the laurel of victory...imagine the Tiber flowing with stifled cries and the ground gorging with hidden tunnels and secret beliefs
Imagine that same city turned white as snow...and the shedding of blood become a new and holy empire
Imagine that city proudly proclaiming its eternity..its sanctity...its oneness and majesty...from an embattled martyr, persecuted warrior, yet never defeated, never broken...gathering its secret following till one day it rose in triumph and using the very arms of the persecutor rise in such power that the iniquitous and unjust crowd that had turned against it burnt in hell...and worse...FORGOTTEN AS THOUGH THEY HAD NEVER BEEN
Imagine that that city now reigned in holiness in majesty and above all in goodness
Imagine the censers burning in its shrines...the thick smoke of perfume...the sensuous liturgy of one celebrating every season death and rebirth..sacrifice and immortality
Whose very life and liturgy had but one thought...SALVATION....salvation not alone of itself but of all that were good gathered with it in one communion
Imagine a city that rooted in decaying soil yet from matin to vesper rung its bells
That one day The Saviour would come
That the Word will be made Flesh
And God will be made Man