I just broke up today.
Nothing great. We didn’t even speak much.
But it seems it won’t work out.
I’ll be fine. Just alright.
I don’t feel anything today. Funny, coz I thought it would be bad.
A sparrow flew into my room today, at dawn.
I had kept the window open to catch the morning air, it’s the only pleasant time in the day.
It was alone, must have lost its way. It flew around the room for sometime…
Or maybe it was a bat, I didn’t see it clearly, I was too afraid and covered myself up inside a blanket.
Then it cut itself in the blades of the fan, and fell down dead.
Drama queen that I am, I went squealing to my parents’ room and fell on them.
Mom said later, I was shivering all the time.
Funny, but I still don’t feel anything.
I console myself that it was the bird’s karma, I always can console myself.
I always have a reason.
If it were a good bird (or bat) maybe it will be reborn soon as a handsome prince or a beautiful girl.
Then I went over the letter. I didn’t cry. For sometime I thought that I would double up in clichéd pain, bury my face inside my knees, and just never come out, I wanted to drive an iron stake up myself, or drive myself into a hot tight ring of fire.
Obviously, I did nothing so dramatic.
I really don’t feel anything, there’s nothing wrong.
In the morning, when I was screaming, squealing like a baby, dad had cleared up the mess in my room. But there were still two splotches of blood on the wall. Just near my bed. The person who works at our house, I asked him to clean it up, I left the room, when I came back, the marks were gone.
I don’t want to study today, will spend my evening reading some religious poems, and chatting with friends.
Soon the nor’wester will come, and it will start raining, but I have vowed I will not open the window, even though I like to stare at the streetlights outside, especially when it has started to rain. And it seems as if the lights themselves are turning to hazy streams.
Opening windows at odd times just causes too much trouble.
O…and tomorrow’s my birthday. So I’ll have fun. A lot of fun. Maybe even find someone. I always do. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’ll trail the roses over our railing, and wait. Hope they look good.
Nothing great. We didn’t even speak much.
But it seems it won’t work out.
I’ll be fine. Just alright.
I don’t feel anything today. Funny, coz I thought it would be bad.
A sparrow flew into my room today, at dawn.
I had kept the window open to catch the morning air, it’s the only pleasant time in the day.
It was alone, must have lost its way. It flew around the room for sometime…
Or maybe it was a bat, I didn’t see it clearly, I was too afraid and covered myself up inside a blanket.
Then it cut itself in the blades of the fan, and fell down dead.
Drama queen that I am, I went squealing to my parents’ room and fell on them.
Mom said later, I was shivering all the time.
Funny, but I still don’t feel anything.
I console myself that it was the bird’s karma, I always can console myself.
I always have a reason.
If it were a good bird (or bat) maybe it will be reborn soon as a handsome prince or a beautiful girl.
Then I went over the letter. I didn’t cry. For sometime I thought that I would double up in clichéd pain, bury my face inside my knees, and just never come out, I wanted to drive an iron stake up myself, or drive myself into a hot tight ring of fire.
Obviously, I did nothing so dramatic.
I really don’t feel anything, there’s nothing wrong.
In the morning, when I was screaming, squealing like a baby, dad had cleared up the mess in my room. But there were still two splotches of blood on the wall. Just near my bed. The person who works at our house, I asked him to clean it up, I left the room, when I came back, the marks were gone.
I don’t want to study today, will spend my evening reading some religious poems, and chatting with friends.
Soon the nor’wester will come, and it will start raining, but I have vowed I will not open the window, even though I like to stare at the streetlights outside, especially when it has started to rain. And it seems as if the lights themselves are turning to hazy streams.
Opening windows at odd times just causes too much trouble.
O…and tomorrow’s my birthday. So I’ll have fun. A lot of fun. Maybe even find someone. I always do. Tomorrow’s a new day. I’ll trail the roses over our railing, and wait. Hope they look good.
~~scio amo
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